Your Pair of Swans

Zestful Blog Post #295

One day a few months ago, a pair of swans (pictured below) appeared in the pond across from our upstairs window. We were like, WTF? That is so cool! We began watching the huge gorgeous birds avidly as we got ready for our day. Marcia, particularly, was enchanted, and set out to know how the swans got there.

After some sleuthing, she learned that our neighbors across the way (strangers to us) decided they wanted swans. Their house backs up to the pond, which is the property of a golf course. Our houses border the course. The neighbors checked with the golf course management and the local vigilante—er, homeowner—associations, who all said, hey sure, swans would be cool! So they ordered their swans from whatever swan ranch, set up a care plan for them, and are looking after them.

The swans glide around and nibble the vegetation and small critters like worms and mollusks in the pond, which has a couple of islets in the middle. The neighbors set up a little swan shelter, which looks like an upside-down playpen, on shore for when they want shade. Early every morning, one of the neighbors brings out a red bucket and puts out some swan chow (presumably to ensure adequate nutrition in addition to what might be available from the pond). The swans come up and have breakfast, then they go back to the pond and its various social activities. Ducks, herons, grebes, ospreys, and other species enjoy the habitat too. Side note: reportedly, swans will chase off troublesome geese that like to hog all the food in a small pond.

[Merry Christmas, if you celebrate it, and/or happy holidays to you from Marcia and me—

and the swans.]

We enjoy the show in the mornings. And we have learned that if you have the proper space and about $2,500 and you want a pair of White Mute Swans, well by God, you can have them. The deeper truth is hey, what would make you happy? Admittedly, not everyone is equipped to afford and care for a pair of swans. But is there something that would bring you joy, for the hell of it? Have you gotten into the habit of thinking it’s just not within reach, or even practical? Perhaps now is the time to challenge that thought. Perhaps it’s time to order your swans.

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Five Things I Learned at Novelists, Inc.

Zestful Blog Post #178

So I joined Novelists, Inc. this year, which is a professional organization for authors. The vast majority of members are female; I learned that the organization started as a splinter group from Romance Writers of America. Last week I attended the annual conference, in St. Pete Beach (which is the real name of the town, separate from St. Petersburg.) (Unpaid plug for the Tradewinds resort hotel: If you’re looking for a place to have a midsized conference (200-300 people), you can’t go wrong there. Great layout & staff, many conveniences, & a terrific beach on the Gulf.)

Met some nice and very accomplished folks. There were some heavy hitters in the presenters ranks—like bosses from Amazon, BookBub, Nook, Ingram, and top publishers. I felt the long weekend was worthwhile; attended sessions and took notes like mad. Learned a ton of stuff, & will probably blog in greater depth on some of it. Key takeaways:

• Lots of people in the writing/publishing business believe quality is the way to go; without great story, all the marketing in the world—whether you’re a trad- or self-published author—won’t help you achieve material success.

• Way more people in the business are convinced that marketing is the path to material success, as long as you keep pumping out titles.

• There are lots of dumpy-looking, middle-aged women in this world who make six figures writing genre fiction, mostly romance, mystery, and paranormal mutations of same. (Me, I have the dumpy-looking, middle-aged parts covered; the only missing part is the six figures.) Every man I met at the conference who was not a presenter was a husband-assistant. Really.

[But we’re all swans deep down, aren’t we?]

• Authors whose books are not in the Kindle Select program (meaning exclusively with Amazon) are angry with Amazon that they don’t get the same deals and advantages that Kindle Select authors get. The two guys who were there from Amazon did a great job escaping with their skins after their presentation.

• I spent lots of time going to marketing and promo sessions, but made time to go to some craft sessions as well, cuz craft is my thing. One major takeaway for me was that readers like deep, deep point of view. Sometimes I’ve wondered how detailed to make my characters’ thoughts; I like writing deep, but sometimes have pulled back, fearing the reader might be skipping this stuff. But after listening to a few editors who have worked with blockbuster bestsellers, I’m like, yeah! Deep POV is fun to write, and moreover, it develops your characters as nothing else does.

Example of deep POV? Which is better?:

• The next day, I felt uneasy.

• A rancid haze settled over me the next day, which was Thursday. It was as if the whole city had turned poisonous—as if micro-bubbles of toxin were raining down on the city, green in color, the exact chartreuse of the mittens of the tiny bully in my first-grade class who had used them to mash snow into my dumb pretty little face that winter, over and over. When the snow melted, she used mud. [from The Actress]

• And OK, here is one more takeaway, which makes six instead of five, but whatever: It's great to be an attendee. You can wear sneakers and pants and t-shirts and sit in the back and not have to worry about how white your teeth are or whether your lip gloss is still good. I realized that until this one, I've been a presenter at every conference I've ever been to as a published author. It costs more to be an attendee, but God is it great to wear sneakers and t-shirts every day.

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