I have an important piece of advice for you if you should
ever find yourself planning a Thanksgiving alone. It involves multiplication.
Years ago when I took a temporary management position in another
state, I realized I would have the opportunity to be alone in my Residence Inn
suite on Thanksgiving.
In the two times I've taken the Myers-Briggs personality sorter,
I've tested once as introvert, and once as extrovert. Somehow I feel introvert
is slightly more accurate, but it's not like I'm one of those people who don't
know how to shoot the breeze with a bartender. But it was wonderful to
contemplate a whole, low-key day alone in a quiet world, especially as I'd been
working like a stevedore with scores of stressed-out retail employees.
I thought the classic thing would be to watch football on TV
(my hometown team, the Detroit Lions, always play on Thanksgiving) and eat a
turkey TV dinner.
So I made sure to stop at the store Wednesday after work, scored
a Swanson's and a six-pack, and felt totally set. The next day I bowed my head
in silent tribute to the Pilgrims and the Indians and remembered drawing hand
turkeys in kindergarten. Come meal-time, I got out the Swanson's and popped it
in the oven.
Here was the thing: It wasn't enough to eat. I'm no
heavyweight, but when I took the thing out of the oven and settled in front of
the tube, I was like, hey, what kind of Malibu Stacy meal is this? Belatedly I
realized the portions were damn skimpy compared with a regular home Thanksgiving
dinner. I fished the box out of the trash and looked at the nutrition
information: only 330 calories. That, I figured, was about a fourth of what I
would normally eat on Thanksgiving.
Tragically, the grocery store was closed, so I was forced to
supplement my feast with a stale package of Lorna Doones from the cupboard.
Hence my Thanksgiving tip: If you're going
solo, buy two or three Swanson's. And some fresh cookies. With enough beer,
you'll be fine.
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