Zestful Blog Post #204
When On Location,
my third Rita Farmer novel, came out, I was invited to participate in a local
book festival. As it happened, an author buddy of mine was there too, and we
agreed to have dinner together after the main booksigning event. A Fairly
Famous Author was on hand as well, and we all mingled and visited during
autograph evening.
Come time to get organized for dinner, my friend and I approached
the FFA and invited him to join us. Scanning the room beyond us and looking
uncomfortable, he said, “Uh, I think I’m gonna eat with some—other cool people.”
We got the translation: “I don’t have firm plans yet. I just
barely caught myself and inserted the word ‘other’ in front of ‘cool people’ in
order to mask what I really mean, which is, I’m going to eat with some cool
people as yet to be determined by me. You are not those people. I’ll give you
the half-assed courtesy of implying you are cool. But, clearly, you, Elizabeth
and X, are not cool.”
[The coolest photo I could find in my files: cool people photographing a large cool object. It was indeed a cool day.]
So, fine. We invited another couple of people to join us, one
an author, the other a writing coach. The four of us had a riot getting to know
one another, talking and eating (and yeah, drinking) late into the night. We
discussed writing, books, and our careers with frankness and warmth. By the end
of the night, we were all friends. As it turned out, we were Cool People. We were
even Nice People: We didn’t even bother to give the ceremonial finger to the
FFA.
Three takeaways here:
One: Writing can be lonely, and we can dwell in our heads to
the detriment of our hearts and sanity, therefore it’s important to get out of
the house and hang with your fellow sufferers. Suddenly a stunning thing
happens: Nobody’s suffering!
Two: When declining an invitation—especially when you can’t
honestly say you already have plans—simply say, “I’m sorry, I can’t. Thanks,
though.” How hard is that?
Three: You are a Cool Person. I said so.
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My father always told me it's good manners to ask others that seem alone to have lunch with you at an event. Or dinner. If I asked and they said no that was one thing but to blow someone off as not worth their time...just too rude for words.
ReplyDeleteBJ, you are such a faithful commenter!! XXOO. Yeah, that was a funny moment, all right. Good thing we were out of junior high and could laugh about it instead of getting suicidal...
ReplyDeleteThis is a cool blog.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, you are indeed, a Cool Person. I attended a writing conference last year, all by myself, and when I asked if I could sit at the dinner table with you and several others, you all welcomed me with open arms. I had the best time! I knew you were a Cool Person because you gave a Cool Workshop and by your Cool, Kind actions, you walked your talk. Great post, and pooey on those rude folks who don't know the value of kindness and adventure.
ReplyDeleteBev! Thanks!! And Bellina, how lovely to share your memory of a cool situation. One might also think here of 'bread on the waters,' or 'what goes around comes around....' I'm glad you stopped by, and I hope all the people I inadvertently snubbed won't chime in...
ReplyDeleteCool!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. A good reminder that cool, also means likeable. You are likeable.
ReplyDeleteAwesome Cool Post and as I head out into the world of other cool people it will be a guide and a shield. You are the Miss Manners of Cool!
ReplyDeleteLiz, Cheryl, Dina, thanks for your most kind/supportive/cool words! Rock on.
ReplyDelete