Thursday, September 27, 2018

Zuh Cow


Zestful Blog Post #283

Some of my favorite imperishable quotations are from people’s grandparents. My friend Linda was musing on wisdom from her German grandmother:

“Linda. Linda. If you dun’t learn to milk zuh cow, you dun’t haff to milk zuh cow.”
Think about it. Not learning something excuses you from dealing with it, and that can be liberating. I mean, I’ve watched cows being milked by hand. Sometimes they smack you in the face with their damp, urine-scented tail. Good morning!


Cunningly avoiding learning how to do something can indeed be liberating. Most grandmas are not stupid. But being helpless, we know, can also backfire: Beyond not being able to get milk when you want it, think of all the young executives in the ’70s and ’80s who resolutely refused to learn how to type. Ambitious women especially were warned away from learning how to type, because typing was for assistants. If you typed, you were pigeonholed into a subservient role. That was the thinking. But then—“Wuh-oh. What’s this new computer thingy on my desk? It gots a keyboard! Wuh-oh!” We had a generation of executives who were clumsy on the keyboard and therefore inefficient because they didn’t learn to touch-type with all ten fingers. I mentioned a couple of years ago here that one of the best things I ever did was take a typing class in high school with a scary bastard perfectionist teacher. I use typing here just as an example. It could be plunging a clogged sink, sewing on a button, starting a campfire, reading a paper map for God’s sake, even pumping gas.

Do we want to be dependent on others? Sometimes, hell yeah. But it’s a game of subtlety and judgment. Grownups deal with whatever shit they really have to. I think Linda’s grandma really meant: Figure out what you really want in life, and screw everything else, because life’s too short to get slapped in the face by a cow.

What do you think? Are there things where you just go “To hell with that!” and why? Or, have you an imperishable quotation from a grandparent to share? To post, click below where it says, ‘No Comments,’ or ‘2 Comments,’ or whatever. If you’re having trouble leaving comments on this or other blogs, it’s probably because third-party cookies have been turned off in your browser. Go into your browser settings and see if that’s the case. Then turn them on again in order to leave comments.
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9 comments:

  1. I have an imperishable quotation from my father that has been a guiding source in my life. He always used to say, "When in doubt, shout!" What he meant by this was to speak up when something doesn't seem right to you, or you don't understand what someone means. When you question anything you hear or observe that has or can have a serious impact on you or someone else, don't be afraid to voice your concerns. It's about standing up for your beliefs, for doing the right thing. Too many people are afraid to voice their questions and concerns for fear of "being unpopular," or putting themselves in the spotlight. Sometimes we need to forget about such matters and address the concern that's bothering us.

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    1. I like it. It's about clarity of communication as well as taking on risk. Thanks, Anon.

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  2. I'm still laughing about the milking the cow thing. My great aunt thought we kids should have the experience of hand milking one of her cows and you did a great description of what happened when I did. The smelly tail thing...yes, it happened. Oddly enough, I am a huge lover of milk still.

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    1. Great story. When I was in Girl Scouts, we were taken to a farm, and the farmer demoed milking. Then he invited every girl to step up, grab a teat, and pull. I hung back, and when he asked, "Did everybody get a chance?" I yelled a lusty "Yes!" Never have grabbed a cow teat...

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    2. Awwwww..... you missed out on so much!

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  3. Growing up in the working class, my family took pride in knowing how to do many different tasks. I've always found it gave me an independence and confidence that I would not have had otherwise. Now that I'm getting old--age 67, I'm beginning to see the joy of just hiring someone else to fix it. I learned to type in high school by the same kind of monster business teacher that you had. These days, young people marvel at how quickly I can insert my comments, produce an article, polish off a short story, while they struggle to get it typed, one finger at a time.

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  4. When I was a young lawyer at the Big Firm, I was disciplined for typing -- an unseemly activity for an attorney. "Guys, I've got some news," I said as a member of the firm's tech committee, "within 2-3 years, you'll be typing, too!" I left the firm to work for a large bank because then I could have a PC on my desk!!

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    1. I bet they remembered what you told them and hated you for it. Heh-heh.

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