Thursday, November 28, 2013

Solo Thanksgiving Essential


I have an important piece of advice for you if you should ever find yourself planning a Thanksgiving alone. It involves multiplication.

Years ago when I took a temporary management position in another state, I realized I would have the opportunity to be alone in my Residence Inn suite on Thanksgiving.

In the two times I've taken the Myers-Briggs personality sorter, I've tested once as introvert, and once as extrovert. Somehow I feel introvert is slightly more accurate, but it's not like I'm one of those people who don't know how to shoot the breeze with a bartender. But it was wonderful to contemplate a whole, low-key day alone in a quiet world, especially as I'd been working like a stevedore with scores of stressed-out retail employees.

I thought the classic thing would be to watch football on TV (my hometown team, the Detroit Lions, always play on Thanksgiving) and eat a turkey TV dinner.

So I made sure to stop at the store Wednesday after work, scored a Swanson's and a six-pack, and felt totally set. The next day I bowed my head in silent tribute to the Pilgrims and the Indians and remembered drawing hand turkeys in kindergarten. Come meal-time, I got out the Swanson's and popped it in the oven.


Here was the thing: It wasn't enough to eat. I'm no heavyweight, but when I took the thing out of the oven and settled in front of the tube, I was like, hey, what kind of Malibu Stacy meal is this? Belatedly I realized the portions were damn skimpy compared with a regular home Thanksgiving dinner. I fished the box out of the trash and looked at the nutrition information: only 330 calories. That, I figured, was about a fourth of what I would normally eat on Thanksgiving.

Tragically, the grocery store was closed, so I was forced to supplement my feast with a stale package of Lorna Doones from the cupboard.

Hence my Thanksgiving tip: If you're going solo, buy two or three Swanson's. And some fresh cookies. With enough beer, you'll be fine.

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6 comments:

  1. I always use Stauffer's when absolutely necessary to buy a frozen meal. I wonder if their Thanksgiving meals would be sufficient. What a depressing discovery for you that day. My mistake of the day is that I planned to color my hair before we go out today so I didn't pay any attention to the box. I opened it - too easily, got the stuff mixed and on my head and then discovered the cream rinse to set the color was missing. I gather the box had been opened and someone purloined the conditioner. Of course Walmart is closed. And I had only gone there because I couldn't find the color my hairdresser recommended any place else. So, I used a regular conditioner. Now I am not looking in mirrors. BTW I learned a good thing about Walmart - going there makes me feel thin.

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    1. Oh gosh, Ronnie, I wish you the best re: the hair and Walmart.... I didn't know you were so hilarious!.. Thanks for dropping in.

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  2. Good luck with finding Luck in your turf, Not in the frosty North, Chicka! Too bad we've got half a continent in between us. Three pounds of cranberries and apricot preserves, 21 pounds of bird, cornbread dressing and as much champagne or Riesling as needed. Wishing you joy!

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    1. Wow, you're even gonna have great leftovers.... Joy back to you, Morgyn.

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  3. What caught me as funny was the part about the six pack. All the women I know would trade the beer for a box of wine. Tabitha Maine

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    1. Yeah, I felt beer went better with football....

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